The voice you never chose

There is a commentary running in most people’s heads, and for some of us it is relentless and it is cruel. You idiot. Everyone can see it. You are a burden. Here is the thing worth knowing on day one: you did not write that commentary. It was installed, mostly early, mostly by repetition, and the fact that it sounds like you does not make it true.

We are not going to try to delete it. That does not work and failing at it makes people feel worse. We are going to make it audible, then answerable, then less central. Three weeks.

Write down one line

1. Think of a moment in the last week when you felt small.
2. Write down the exact sentence that went through your head. The exact words, not a polite summary.
3. Underneath, write whose voice it sounds like. Yours, a parent, a teacher, a relative, nobody in particular.
4. Keep the page. You will add to it all week.