My Parents' Taunts Make Me Feel Worthless – How Do I Cope?

That is a very heavy weight to carry. You love your parents, but their words cut deep, and the gap between what you need from them and what you get is exhausting. Pretending to be okay when you are not takes everything out of you. And the fact that your faith holds you back from ending it — that matters. That is real strength, even when you feel completely empty. Let’s talk about what might help you see a way through this.

What is actually happening

The taunts and the silence from your parents feel like proof that you are worthless. But they are not proof — they are their own pain, their own way of coping, their own generation’s habit of confusing love with criticism. Many Pakistani parents show care by pushing or teasing, not by hugging. That does not make it right, and it does not make it easy. But it means the problem is in *how* they express love, not in *whether* you deserve it. You are not worthless because they cannot see what you are going through. You are hurting because you care so much about their opinion, and that is natural.

What you can try right now

• Find one person who will just listen without fixing. A cousin, a friend, a teacher, or Zara here on this site. Say exactly what you wrote: “I am tired of pretending. I think about ending it. My faith stops me, but I don’t know how to go on.” Just saying it out loud to someone who will not judge can loosen the knot a little.
• Write down what you wish your parents could hear. Do not show it to them yet. Write it for yourself. Seeing your own pain on paper can make it feel more real and less overwhelming. You might notice patterns — what triggers the worst feelings, what you actually need.
• Create a small boundary for your own safety. When a taunt comes, step away physically. Go to your room, put headphones on, or step outside for two minutes. Say to yourself: *“This is their habit, not my truth.”* It will not stop the hurt overnight, but it buys you space.

How happiness can come back

Right now, happiness seems impossible because the hurt is too loud. But it is not that happiness is gone forever — it is that you are in survival mode. Your brain is focused on getting through the next hour, not on joy. That is normal when you are in this much pain. The first step is not happiness; it is one moment of relief. A cup of chai that you actually taste. A dua that feels like a conversation, not a duty. A five-minute walk where you notice the sky. Those small pieces add up.

Your faith is holding you on this side — do not underestimate that. Use it as an anchor, not as a test. Talk to Allah about exactly how you feel; He does not need polite words. And if you ever feel like you cannot trust yourself, come back here and talk to Zara. You do not have to pretend with her. You just have to show up. One moment at a time, it can get lighter.