How to Stop Flashbacks and Ground Yourself After Abuse

When a memory hits like that, your body is telling you the danger is happening right now — that is what a flashback is. It is not a sign that you are broken, and it is not weakness. It is your mind trying to protect you, even though it is not helping in this moment. The way out is not to fight the memory, but to bring your attention into this room, this minute, this breath.

Bring yourself back

• Name five things you can see around you, out loud if you can.
• Put your feet flat on the floor and press down hard, or hold something cold like a bottle of water.
• Breathe slowly — in for four, out for six — and count each breath.
• Say to yourself, "He is not here. I am safe in this moment."
• Touch something with texture, like your clothes or a wall, and describe how it feels in your mind.

Let the wave pass

A flashback feels like it will never end, but it always does. It moves like a wave — it rises, peaks, and then comes down, usually within a few minutes. The more you try to push it away, the longer it can stick around. So instead, let the feeling be there and keep your senses busy. What matters most is reminding yourself aloud that he is not in front of you — the memory is. Your voice helps your brain switch from "danger" to "here."

After it passes, don't scold yourself for it. It is tiring, so you have the right to feel drained. Have a glass of water, and be gentle with yourself for the rest of the day. And if these flashbacks come often, do tell someone you trust — or talk to Zara whenever you need company. You are not meant to carry this alone.