Help for Anger and Revenge Thoughts Towards Women After Rejection

You are right to be concerned about these feelings, and it is genuinely hard to carry this much anger and resentment. What you are describing — the hurt from rejection turning into a deep distrust and then into thoughts of revenge — is a serious emotional state that needs professional help, and you have already taken the most important step by recognising that and asking for it. You are not alone in feeling this way, and it does not make you a bad person; it means you are in pain and need the right support to get out of this cycle.

What is happening in your mind

Rejection hurts, especially when it happens more than once. Over time, that hurt can turn into a belief that all women are the same, and that the only way to protect yourself is to push them away or even want to hurt them back. The thoughts of planning harm, even if you have not acted on them, are a sign that the anger has grown bigger than the original pain. This is not who you are — it is what the pain has done to your thinking. The fact that you feel disturbed by these thoughts shows that a part of you still wants to be free of them.

Getting professional help online

You asked for confidential online psychiatric help, and that is available. Do one thing — visit depression.pk/find-help and look for psychiatrists or therapists who offer online sessions. Many Pakistani professionals now do video or phone consultations, and they are bound by confidentiality. You can also use our free self-test at depression.pk/test to get a clearer picture of what you are dealing with, but the most important thing is to book a real session with a psychiatrist. They can assess whether medication might help calm the anger enough for you to work on the thoughts underneath.

What to do when the anger spikes

When you feel the rage rising, especially when someone disturbs you or you are stuck in old memories, try this one thing: step away from the situation for five minutes. Go to another room, wash your face with cold water, or just breathe slowly — in for four counts, out for six. It will not fix everything, but it gives your brain a moment to cool down before you say or do something you might regret later. If you have a trusted male friend or family member you can talk to without being judged, that can also help, but do not rely on that alone.

You mentioned wanting to harm others and planning revenge for years. That is a very serious sign that you need immediate professional help. Please do not wait. Book an online consultation this week. If you ever feel like you might act on these thoughts, call the crisis helpline at depression.pk/get-help — the numbers there are confidential and available 24/7. You are not beyond help, and you do not have to carry this alone.