Grief & loss: questions answered
My father passed away six months ago and I still cannot accept it. Is that normal?
That is completely normal. Six months is still very early in grief — for many people, the first year is the hardest because every season, every holiday, every ordinary day reminds you they are not there. Accepting a loss does not happen all at once, and it does not mean you stop missing them. It just means you slowly learn to carry the weight differently. There is no fixed timeline, and feeling stuck or numb or unable to believe it is not a sign that something is wrong with you.
What might help right now
- Let yourself feel what you feel without forcing acceptance. Some days you might cry, other days you might feel nothing at all. Both are part of grieving. Trying to "move on" too fast usually makes it harder.
- Talk about your father when you want to. Many families in Pakistan avoid mentioning the deceased for fear of upsetting others, but keeping memories inside can make the loss feel unreal. Sharing a story or even saying "I miss him" can help your mind slowly adjust.
- Do one small thing to honour him. It could be praying for him, visiting his grave, cooking his favourite dish, or just sitting quietly with a photo. These small acts give your grief a shape without needing to "accept" everything at once.
You are not failing at grief. Six months is still very early. Be gentle with yourself, and if anyone in your family or social circle pressures you to "be strong" or "move on", remember that they are speaking from their own discomfort, not from what you actually need. You can take your time — inshallah, it will get lighter, but it takes as long as it takes.
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